Author: Tiffany Lesane

Courage to forgive…..

Heavenly father, please give me the courage to forgive. Gift me the key to freedom and joy. First for myself, forgive and free me from any resentment, guilt, hurt, blame, self-pity and judgement that I might be holding on to about myself. Release me from any mental addictions that lead to my suffering and pain. Turn my lack of self-love leading to abuse, to nurturing; victim-hood to divinity; rejection to gratitude; disease to wellness; opposition to union; expectations to understanding; criticism to accepting; and selfishness to generosity.

For my loved ones who have hurt, disappointed or betrayed me, help me to forgive them….even if I believe the offense is too great to be forgiven. Give me the strength to have compassion and love them unconditionally, as they may be hurting, suffering and in pain as well.  Help me to remember that other people’s actions and behaviors have nothing to do with me, though they may involve me.  Please forgive me for ever making their issues and situations about me.

Father, help me to accept the forgiveness of everyone I have hurt in my life. Please give me the courage to correct my wrongs and to replace my ignorance with wisdom by re-framing my thoughts and experiences. Help me to no longer hide my love behind fear, but the courage to open my heart to love again. Help me move toward the pleasure of walking through life having clarity and understanding, relinquishing my old belief systems and assumptions. Most importantly, help me to re-write my story to reflect a person, whose life has been greatly impacted and tremendously changed through true forgiveness. Thank you heavenly father for granting me this capacity and the peace of it all……Amen!   

How many of you know that our emotions are just thoughts?

Next question, how many know that thoughts can be changed?

Last question, how many of you know that we control both?

I recently had a conversation with someone. In that conversation, she revealed to me some news about a choice that someone very close to me had made. My mood instantly changed from good to bad. So much to the point of me having no desire to finish the conversation with that person. As much as I tried to hide it, she could tell. I went on for a couple more minutes, then the phone disconnected and I was not able to get her back on the line.

I was relieved. Now I had a chance to fully digest what she had just told me and be in my feelings, completely. My emotions were at full affect. “How could this person make this choice?” “Does this person realize danger in doing this?” My thoughts went rampant…..all the way to this person’s grave. I had already had thoughts in my head of this person injuring themselves so much to the point that it cost them their life.  My thoughts were grim. My emotions were raw. I cried and cried. I went to a deep dark place and stayed there until the next morning.

I woke up with these same thoughts and emotions still ringing hard. Then something clicked. I began to think about my peace and how it had been stolen because of thoughts of something that hadn’t even happened. Thoughts that were not true. These were just thoughts of things that I assumes were going to happen. I repeat….I had been robbed of my peace by my very OWN thoughts. I knew that didn’t make sense and needed to make a change.

Because I was the one causing this issue, I could certainly change it. I began to capture those negative thoughts about the situation. I then decided to change my thoughts and perspective regarding the situation. I soon viewed the situation differently. I had positive thoughts and concluded positive outcomes. I thought about what could possibly be, from a positive standpoint. Even more so, I changed my thoughts completely to something else. Ultimately, my emotions began to change.

See we are in full control of our thoughts, which lead to our emotions. We allow in our mind and heart what we want. And for those things that we don’t want, we have the power to block or change them. We can take hold of our negative thoughts and immediately change them into something positive or something else. Thus, leading to a better mood and happier emotions. A change in our perspective can set the tone for brighter and a more positive outlook on things.

Don’t allow your peace to be compromised by things that haven’t happened yet, which are your thoughts. Block the negative thoughts. Throw them back into the sea. Change your perspective! Stop your mind from going to that dark place, by staying in the current moment with what’s happening now.  Control your emotions by controlling your thoughts. Then know that our thought can change by changing our perspective…..Continue to live the very best version of yourselves!

I woke up this morning to chaos. Being deployed to Kuwait, I am currently 7 hours ahead of the US. Thus, I’m unaware of what happens at night in the US, until I wake the next morning. I began to see messages of things that scared me. Videos and pictures of parts of my city back home, being damaged and destroyed.

My heart breaks that our black sons/daughters/brothers/sisters are losing their lives to senseless violence. Violence from authority figures that we are supposed to be able to trust and count on to do the right things. I can’t understand why.

I am no longer naïve to the fact that racism is still alive. But the sad part about this is, that it’s being exposed at the cost of someone’s life. How do we get to the root cause of racism? Is it another form of hate? Is it another form of hurt? Are hate and hurt the root cause of it all? If so, how do we begin to fix it?

My devotion consisted of me asking God to HELP. We need His help like never before. We have members of a specific race, who hate the lives of those of another race. Then we have those members of that race who are angry, hurting, tired and fed up, but are expressing themselves in the wrong manner. Two wrongs will never make a right! Looting, violent protests, destroying people’s property, stealing, burning landmarks is not the way to express ourselves and definitely not the solution.    

My prayer is for my black sons and my black brothers and my black nephews and family members and friends to able to live their lives and not be afraid that their lives will be taken by hate. That they will not be afraid to go jogging. That they will not be afraid, when pulled over by the cops. That they will not be afraid that they will end up under the knee of a police officer and be the next case of senseless violence. But instead, they will be seen as EQUAL and not stereotyped by the color of their skin or how they look. That they will be treated as humans and SHOWN that their black lives DO matter.

The other part of my prayer is for healing. For God to heal the hate and the hurt in the lives of those who think it’s okay to take another person’s life because of the color of their skin. I pray for calmness and peace in America and the de-escalation of these violent protests. I declare peaceful protesting. I pray for us to know that God is in control and that He will protect us and keep us safe ALWAYS and give us clarity, understanding, wisdom, love and JUSTICE FOR ALL. Read Psalm 91…….

I went on a journey two years ago, in which I vowed to never give myself away to another man without his commitment to me and his vow in marriage. Most importantly, I would honor God with my body.

See, I endured years and years of not honoring God. Giving myself away to men, who didn’t deserve me. In return, I was left used, abused, confused and mistreated. Not to mention, the deep emotional void I felt when these relationships or situation-ships ended. I grew tired of that feeling. I no longer wanted to deal with the strongholds attached to giving myself away to someone.  

Throughout my abstinence journey, I found me in a sense. I felt more in control of me, my body and my life. I developed courage and self-value that I am very proud of. I now embrace the challenge of loving someone and them loving me for simply who I am and who they are without our judgement being clouded. I appreciate the simplicity of getting to know someone, purely. I love knowing that there will be a prize at the end of courtship. I want to gift my husband with the newly untouched version of me.

I was recently placed in a situation where I had to witness testimonies of alleged sexual harassment. While sitting and listening to the grueling details of comments, conversations and experiences, I thought about how the lustful desires of sex was the driving factor to this situation. The problem is that sex is often misused and abused and most individuals don’t know how to tame it for its appropriateness.

Abstinence has taught me to tame my desires. Yes, I enjoy sex and miss it and look forward to the day where I can have at it with my husband, endlessly (lol). However, if me rejecting my sexual desires keeps me out of trouble, then I’m okay with that. I don’t have to worry about any sexual harassment accusations; pregnancy scares; having to be tested and possibly treated for STDs; and most importantly, the strings of emotions that sex leaves behind. Not to mention, I have now developed a form of self-control and delayed self-gratification that can benefit in every other area of my life.  

Devon Franklin and Meagan Good talk about in their book The Wait, that if a person can’t control sexual desires before the marriage, they won’t be able to control them within the marriage either. And there stems a whole other set of problems. We have to learn to tame those desires.  For so long, sex controlled my life. I mean, that was the one thing that I knew how to get right in a relationship. It was good and I was good at it, but every other aspect in the relationship wasn’t. Of course, I will deal with rejection from men and being ridiculed by others because of my choice, but that’s okay. I even remember someone telling me that no man would ever go for that and that I would be single forever. And that’s okay too. Whatever God’s will is for my life!

The beauty in this is that God gifts us another chance, another opportunity to get things right every day that we wake. It’s up to us to take advantage of that. I encourage you all, to save yourselves for marriage. Yes, it’s the uncommon thing to do but that’s why you were uniquely and wonderfully created. Honor God in your relationships and give your future spouse the gift of the pure you………BeGREAT and do great things!

When was the last time that you cried?

My last good cry was last night. I had just finished listening to a message by Holly Furtick, titled “I Know The Way.” The message simply reminded us all that when we feel lost, we are truly not. When we feel as if we don’t know the way, we in fact do know that way. 

We know that according to John 14:6, Jesus answered, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.” The Holy Spirit is with us waiting and ready for us to tap into Him for guidance and for everything that we need.

Part of my cry was my heart breaking knowing of millions of people feeling lost and afraid due to the uncertainty of everything going on in the world today.  I pray that things get better for them and that we are able to reach out to them with hope and love, while their hearts are open.

I circled back and began to think of all the times that He has been my provider, healer, redeemer, restorer, protector, deliverer and all that I needed. That became the other cause of my cry. Tears of joy and admiration! I know that the SAME God, who did it before, will do it again.

We don’t have to be afraid or feel lost. What we have to do is believe and know that God is with us, as His word says that He will never leave us or forsake us. Jesus is the way. Knowing this makes me content and my heart smile.

Real love……….

It challenges and stretches us and makes us better.

It protects and never judges.

It is kind and patient.

It kisses our flaws and scars and even our ashy feet.

It springs us into forward motion to become better.

It houses forgiveness and loses count of wrongs.

It drives us into uncharted territories, ready to explore the world.

It meets us at our lowest point, to lifts us back up.

It makes everything else seem right.

It sees our ugliest and darkest moments and pulls us through.

It teaches us hard lessons and to risk again.

It shares and holds our deepest secrets.

It causes us to laugh uncontrollably at the smallest things.

It walks five miles in the scorching sun.

It selflessly serves God and others.

It is indescribable and irreplaceable.

It makes things right.

It never fails or ends.

It is what we all strive and search for.

The latter part of 2018 and the majority of 2019, I went through some situations which left me feeling betrayed, hurt, lost and disappointed to my core. Daily, I was on my face crying out to God, wanting Him to take the pain away and make it all better. I just wanted peace!

One day, I heard Him say to me, “only until you surrender and submit it all to me, will you have peace.” For so long, I had only surrendered certain parts of me to Him and tried to control of the other parts. But He revealed that wasn’t good enough and began to show me what surrendering and submitting to Him looked like. He wanted it all!

I then went through a process of giving it all to Him. Surrendering everything and totally submitting to His Will for my life. Every hurt, ache, pain, issue, circumstance and situation; every person who betrayed, used and abused me; my finances, my career, my children, my heart, and my relationships; every part of my life, I surrendered.  Only then, did I begin to truly experience His peace!

The beauty of knowing that God is in control of your life, is the fact that whatever happens, is part of His Will and what doesn’t, is not. What He has for us, is for us and what isn’t, is not. Learning, understanding and embracing those simple statements became very freeing to. That tremendous weight has been lifted off of me. I now have peace!

His word in Philippians 4:8-9, says that we should focus on whatever is true, noble, pure, right, lovely, and admirable. Those things that are excellent and that we have learned, received, heard and seen from Him, we should put into practice, and the peace of God will be with us. I look at how He has blessed me over and over again; His constant safety and protection over me and my family; the second chances that He has given me; His amazing grace; Him granting me favor in so many situations; I know that He is faithful and that His promises still stand and that He will never leave us. I know that God is in control! 

Dear Me,

I forgive you! Thank you for overcoming everything that you have been through throughout your life and here most recently.

There were a couple of things that 2019 brought that caused you not to know which way your life was going. It was truly an emotional roller coaster. Instances of betrayal, hurt, heart-break, loss, and confusion that rocked your core. Some instances could have been prevented; others were the inevitable. Good and bad times, sad and happy times, alone and dark times, while some sunny and bright. Through it all, you made it. I am so proud of you! Thank you for handling things with class and bowing out at times with grace. Through your surrendering, God pulled you through. He forgives you and I do to!

You made poor decisions. You compared yourself to others. You refused to believe your worth. You lost confidence. You lacked faith at times and took matters into your own hands. You idolized other people and things. You sinned and fell short. You lied to yourself and made excuses. You got caught up and let your emotions get the best of you. Though most you are not proud of, it’s now a part of your truth.

Now that you know better, you will do better. Now that things have gone very wrong, you will make them right. Now that you have loved and lost, you will love again. Now that you have been to the bottom, you will rise to the top. Now that you have seen your worst days, better days are here to stay. Now that you have been “there”, you have overcome. Now that you have been healed and made whole, life and love bring new meaning.

Tiffany, you are truly amazing! And regardless if anyone ever tells you how amazing you are, God already has. Your confidence and validation come from Him and no one else! You are who you are and who God has created. Yes, you are different from others. No matter who ridicules you or makes fun or even uses it against you, God has made you unique. Know it and Embrace it!

There will be people who will never understand or even accept you. They will never value or respect you. But that’s okay because God’s word says, love them anyway. However, always establish boundaries that keep people from stealing, killing, and destroying your peace and joy and distracting you from your purpose.

Refer to God’s word as you love others. Let Him be your vindicator. Seek Him first in all things. Be in a surrendered and submitted posture to His Will. Your life will continue to be blessed and fulfilled. Your boys will be blessed and grow and mature into great men of God. You will be favored in all circumstances.  Your purpose will make people’s lives better. Your light will shine bright. You will win and Christ will prevail!

Get ready for all that God has planned for your life. Remember to count the good and the bad, all joy! He has called you to a specific purpose and you will be used in a mighty way. Share your story to help others. Show them that they too, can win despite life’s unfortunate circumstances. Live in faith and not in fear!

Not another person will use, abuse, or take advantage of you. You will be bold enough to allow “no” to be a complete sentence. Embrace your worth and know that you are good enough, you don’t have to prove it to anyone. People will already see how special and great you are. Stay true to that and to who He has made you.

Love yourself unconditional, kissing every flaw and scar that you have. Know that comparison robs you of your peace and joy, so don’t do it! Do what you feel to enhance your beauty and become a better you, but check your motives. Never make any life altering decision or change to your body to please others. Remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH! Stay in a surrendered and submitted posture. Seek Him first. Love and help others. Have faith. Trust the process. Know that what God has for you, it is for you!

Be beautiful. Be graceful. Be bold. Be classy. Be a lady. Be courageous. Be patient. Be kind. Be careful. Be strong…..Be You! You are an amazing woman of God, with many wonderful qualities and characteristics. You have done your very best by others, even in the worst of circumstances. Now it’s your turn and God has the unthinkable in store. Be ready! I LOVE YOU ALWAYS!

Blessings,

Me

One morning, I chose to do cardio using my favorite machine, the stair climber. I have found that the stair climber provides great results for glutes and legs. So upon starting my workout, I selected the interval training program. I then started my worship music and began stepping.

As I looked at the pattern for my workout, I noticed that there would be some very easy points in my workout. During those times, I would have to give very little effort. Then, I also noticed some very hard and intense moments in the pattern as well. I knew that at those points, I would have to focus more and give a great deal of effort. Then it would go back to easy and then back to high intensity again. Changes in the intensity, exercises the heart muscle and improves our aerobic capacity. This ultimately leads to us being able to exercise longer and at more intense levels in the future.  

About halfway through my workout, I began to think about how interval training can be related to the life we live. Things may be going well and easy for us, then all of a sudden we are hit with a tests and trials. This causes things to get tough and the intensity to increase in our lives. During those times, we have to give a little more and push harder throughout our circumstances. But we keep our faith and remain steadfast as God sees us through. When we make it through to the other side, during our periods of rest and low intensity, we realize that we are better, stronger, and wiser because of what we went through prior. The trials and tribulations that we experience and go through, exercises our “heart muscle” and gives us the strength capacity that prepares us for the next set of tests and trials.

I encourage you all to look at life as if you are interval training. There will be some periods and chapters of our life that will easy and quiet all while things are going well. But other times will be heavy, difficult, and tough. Think about what we are supposed to be learning and gaining from those difficult times. Think about building our “heart muscle.”Remember that its there to teach us something. What doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger, better, wiser and more prepared for what is to come!!!

Mouse Problems…….How God used a mouse to speak to me

One morning I was doing my usual in the bathroom, getting ready for work. All of a sudden, I saw a mouse crawling out of my closet. Eeek!!!!!! I screamed and ran all the way down the stairs to the kitchen. I looked back and, could see the mouse crawling down the stairs too. Eeek!!!! Eeek!!!!! I screamed again and jumped on top of a stool at the table. Thinking to myself…..there is a freaking mouse in my HOUSE!!!!!!!

I sat there for a few minutes trying to figure out what I was going to do. There was no way that I was going to be roommates with a mouse. I then managed to pull myself together enough to finish getting dressed for work and left quickly! Not knowing where the mouse had gone, I was horrified as every little odd movement or sound caused me to be startled. I was shook and creeped out because of this little mouse. I had mouse problems!

That whole day at work, I was disheveled.  In between meetings, appointments and assisting students, I was researching and contacting exterminators. I must have called 20 different exterminators and NONE had availability that day. I thought, “What am I going to do?” I needed this mouse problem solved NOW! By the end of the day, I had no other choice but to secure an exterminator for the following morning. So next on my agenda was figuring out where I was going to spend the night. I thought about a hotel, then the costs associated with it deterred me.  I thought about staying at a friend’s house, then I decided I really didn’t want to do that either. So, very hesitantly, I decided to return home to the mouse.

On the drive home, I thought about my day and how it had been completely wrecked because of a mouse. I knew that I needed to get a hold of myself and calm down. I mean really, it was just a little mouse. I pulled up to my house and sat there for about 30 mins. Then reluctantly opened the garage, as if the mouse would be there to greet me. I then sat in the garage for another 30 mins. Trying to muster up enough courage to face the mouse head on inside my house. This led to another hour of my day destroyed because of a little furry creature called a mouse. Finally, to my relief, my son came and attempted to find the mouse.  He searched and searched in every room, under every bed and couch, and in every closet and cabinet. But there was NO mouse.  Two hours later…..I forced myself back into my house and began my nightly routine.  I knew that I could NO LONGER let a little mouse control me or my day or consume any more of my time. I had to pull it together and get things back on track, immediately! And that’s what I did! The mouse was never seen again.

I couldn’t help but to look at my experience with this mouse from a spiritual standpoint. Was this a test? And if so, did I pass? How many times have we encountered little things in our life, equivalent to a mouse, and it completely wrecked us? Distracted us from our routine? Destroyed our peace? Threw us off course? Interrupted our time with Jesus? Caused us our faith? Stressed us out and caused us to breach our character? Basically, wreaked havoc in our lives.  Perhaps it was a test for us then? Sometimes we get so worked about the smallest things in life. Even the little foxes, spoil the vine! We allow these forces of the enemy (even the little ones) to come in and still, kill, destroy, and distract us. We lose focus and our trust in God.

Know that God uses things as small as a mouse to get our attention. Sometimes he uses the small issues to get us to compare them to the large ones…..still our trust in Him should be the same. I want to encourage you to protect your peace and trust God! Know that if you keep Him as the center of your focus, everything else will be worked out. God wants us to carry our burdens to Him and leave them there and trust that He will supply our needs….